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Some kind of cool new e-mail Host websites on your MAC: with the new local DSL, especially Web design and tech types in Fairfield What I did last week on: |
 Outbox Web Marketing Newsletter, Volume 1, #10, May 14, 2001 Copyright 2001, Paul Stokstad. All rights reserved.     |
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This week's topic is: SPAM(To see the original in the flesh, or at least in the can, click here) Yes, for once, we are going to discuss the grimy underbelly of the web, that is, the proliferation of unsolicited e-mail, what makes an e-mail spam, who's mad about it, (and why), and what you can do about it. I always seem to want to give the historical perspective on this stuff, just to give you a sense of the horror that such stuff brings to the old timers (who really haven't adjust ed to online visuals, and miss the old text web browsers). You can imagine that, for those guys who grew up on a web comprised of scientists sharing technical information via e-mail and file-sharing protocols known as GOPHER (a text transfer protocol named due to it's origin at the U. of Minnesota) ARCHIE (Archive Server) and VERONICA, or "Very Easy Rodent-Oriented Net-Wide Index to Computer Archives" (with that sly mouse user joke), it's hard to see something like e-mail in the hands of what appear to be slimy, heartless, insensitive twits (now there's an acronym for ya) Oddly (perhaps you've discerned), it's even hard for me. Still, in some ways, it can be entertaining. This week, knowing that I was going to write up this topic, I idly started dropping my incoming spam into a folder. I didn't get it all, but still came up with 30 messages. That's maybe 1/2 of the real total. But who's counting. I just saved the amusing (twisted sense of humor, of course) ones, or the blatantly bad, or typical, or idiotic, or self-defeating, just so we'd have a few to throw leftovers at before deleting them. Let's look at a few: First of all, there's the intriguing message title that you can see in your e-mail window before you open it. Here they sometimes go to great lengths to either get under your radar by looking like something you asked for, or by pretending to be from someone you know. Examples this week include:
"Saw your site" simply tells me that they figured out that I have a website and want to sell me something website related. Of course I never "requested" the information. The last is cagey and stupid at the same time. It starts with an "re" statement, which looks like a response to one of my e-mails, which would be cool, except they put a period instead of a semicolon. It should have been "re:" WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Were they thinking that if they could just trick me into opening their e-mail, I would be so enamored of their offer that I would buy it? In other words, I wouldn't mind the fact that they tricked me to open it, I would go ahead and buy it anyway because it was so great? Right, I'm going to buy someone from someone who from the first moment demonstrates total insensitivity to my privacy and the world that he is operating in. It's like being at a garden party, and all of a sudden some guy shows up with a loud-speaker selling stuff. The fact is, these guys don't care about me at all. They are going after the masses. They don't care if they offend hundreds of thousand of people, as long as they sell to SOME people. Which brings us to the point(s).
The last is the hardest to pull off, and I'll explain why later. Just a few more examples from my week:
Let's face it, we now have a fourth ugly head on the hydra of consumer-hated marketing practices, which formerly was only populated by junk mail, unsolicited phone calls, and multilevel marketing. The "Direct Marketing Association" (always the euphemism) will tell you that there is no junk mail, only mail delivered to the wrong person. But there is certainly a shipload of it. If you get a 1% response on your bulk mail campaign, it's considered successful. That means that 99% was junk. The phone companies calling me about phone service are up against a monster, since I have the following ways of dealing with them
On the other hand, I don't even want to TALK about the new practice of having a machine call up and solicit you. Yikes! As far as multi-level ("network" marketing) goes, I am the originator of the phrase (not completely original, of course) "Friends don't let friends do multi-level, and even did a stand up routine which starts out by dissing multi-level. The point is that invasive, insensitive marketing practices do work, but only because we reward them for doing it. SPAM actually goes beyond all of these because it clogs your download time online, which for some people still means billable minutes. Like AOL people. Which means that you are paying THEM to be solicited. So, I guess we could say that we've established that SPAM is a bit of a no-no, at least where Paul Stokstad's e-mail box is concerned. But, just for a moment, let's look at the other side. Let's suppose that you have company, and it is a real company, and you have this new medium called the web, and you KNOW that there are thousands of people out there who what your product AND you are RIGHT. Let's say that your boss comes to you (as mine did, on a couple of occasions when I had a boss) and says, "Say, we've got this great idea to send e-mails to our customer base about our new product." Now, you are sitting there, having been on the web that the boss met three weeks ago, and you have to tell him that he's doing it wrong. and that's not easy. It's not easy to tell your boss (who after all didn't come to you for advice) that he is violating the protocols of the web. Take a look at SpamCop and related sites, and you will find that the anti-spam folks have the rules defined very tightly. Basically you cannot send unsolicited e-mail, even to your own customer list, UNLESS they have given you permission to do so. By NO means can you buy an e-mail list from some list-broker company and pop out an e-mail, even if it is a list of teachers who may well want your Harry Potter Study Guide. What this means is despite the amazing interconnectivity of the web, you can't go indiscriminately sending out your announcements to everybody. Technically it can be done. But just because it can be done, doesn't mean it should be done. First of all, consumer resistance is going, and many people resist unwelcome solicitations of all kind (I assume I am not alone). Secondly, being an Ugly American never paid off in the fifties, why would being an ugly web user work now? So, what can you do? You can put an opt-in e-mail button on your site. If people say, "sure, I''ll subscribe to your newsletter about gerbils, which may include the occasional Gerbil-food sale," it's okay. You can advertise your website in traditional media and online (in banner ads, etc.) You can include your URL in your signature file in your e-mails, and therefore market your services any time you send an e-mail (mine looks like this): Paul Johan Stokstad You can buy addresses from an OPT-IN list broker. These are guys who have archived list of e-mails of people who have ASKED to get e-mail offers about specific products and services. I'm on a bunch of these lists, because I love hearing about new web--related tech products and services. That's how I heard about Instantis, for example, my sole OUTBOX KEWL award winner (thus far). Spamcop list some opt-in companies:
I also did a quick search on Google, and came up with the following:
I'm not recommending any of those companies. Caveat emptor. Read the fine print. I wouldn't put it past some companies to help you build a list and then they'd sell it on the back end to someone else, and then all of a sudden your e-mail list will get spammed. It's a jungle out there. With lots of slime underfoot. As far as how to avoid spam yourself, USA Today and Spam Cop talk all about it. You can use mail filters, sniff out who spammers really are, create bogus e-mail addresses so that spammers can't find you when you sign up for stuff online, contact your congressperson. But at least do the following:
One of today's inbound bad boys is a perfect example of the latter. Here it is, Monday, and I'm sending out this Spam-slam, and today of all days I get a spam note for something that I might actually want: "THE BIBLE ON CD" This e-mail outlines a CD that has twelve versions of the bible on it and a bunch of bible research tools, etc. So here I am, having just configured my father's computer for web browsing, (and getting a poem a day, it seems), meanwhile looking for some kind of CD which would show him the capabilities of his CD slot in the old hand-me-down slot, and there he is, a retired Gideon (bible donator-type), and then along comes this offer. What a dilemma. It's the last temptation of Christ (without the Christ, of course, in my case). Still, I know better, and besides at the end of the e-mail, they say this (can you believe it?):
Can you believe that first sentence? A bit presumptive, eh? With an unsubtle critical element. Well, that steeled my resolve and I made it to this writing without buying the Spamware (which was likely anyway). You can do the same, and avoid SPAM in all of it's manifestations. Good luck if your boss feels differently. Next week: How to make a rollover button in Dreamweaver.
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