I've decided to come out in public, tonight, and admit to my
unusual sexual preference
Tonight, In public, I will now admit, yes
I am a lesbian
I'm confess, I'm only attracted to women
and the thing is
It's not just a passing phase
or something that's due to my environment
I knew this at a very early age
Of course, when I was seven
Marilyn Monroe was in her prime
so there may have been some imprinting thing.
Hey men, if you want to know how truly wierd women are, remember
this,
they are attracted to men. I mean, that's so strange, you'd have to
be
from venus to think of something like that.
No I'm just kidding, i'm not a lesbian
I'm really a closet heterosexual
I just can't find anyone who'll have sex in a closet
I do have a girlfriend though
whose
Brother sells road signs
wrong way real popular this year
what's it like to be a sign writer
yeah I'm going to write another one this year
"Yield" wears a beret
do they have conventions
little one or two word conversations
and short meetings
Program:
TALK
Lunch
TALK
Dinner
What about safe sex?
When was sex ever safe?
It's true now you can die of AIDS.
And that's bad we have to admit it
And by the way, how do you suppose the sales of AYDS,
the weight loss product is going
Can't you just see them down at the ayds WEIGHT LOSS candy
FACTORY
the day AIDS first hit the newstands
Uh, boss
Uh, boss
what is it, I'm busy
Uh, do you think this thing in the newspaper is a problem
Nah, it's a completely different spelling
Anyway, safe sex
(when was it ever safe)
You could always die from sex
at least you could always die from embarrassment
think of all the things that could go wrong:
you could be no good at it
you could be unable to do it
you could get caught while doing it
safe sex...
another contradiction in terms
like army intelligence
hog futures
jumbo shrimp
civil war, and
fresh oil